When Grief Speaks

The grief journey can been unreal. The pain surges in waves. We all experience it differently.

In 2021, I entered the grief journey for my mom. I was desperate to find a way through the intense, emotional pain.

I found a grief journal that I highly recommend called “How to Carry what Can’t be fixed” by Megan Devine. I worked through my pain in small doses through this book.

One of the exercises that I have found to be healing is the one that the author prompts you to personify grief. The direction is to “take a few deep breaths, pick up your pen and ask grief – who are you?” then wait. When you sense an image, a creature a being, a person -describe what you see. Don’t tell us about it, let your grief actually speak. Write in its voice. Set the timer for 10 minutes and let your pen or fingers write.

This is how grief responded when I asked – who are  you?

I am pain.

Dark pain.

I am the deep ache always within.

I am a reminder of deep love.

I am sadness, anxiety, guilt, remorse, jealousy, disgust, anger.

I am like a chameleon – adapting to the environment.

If you ignore me, I will wake you up in the night and often early in the morning – sometimes with tears, sometimes with scenarios and often in the disguise of anger and agitation and what no one else could possibly ever understand – except you and me.

I can also be your friend.

If you let me.

Breathe in my wisdom.

Honor the deep love you feel.

Nourish your light and remember the light of your mom and Aunt Jackie (your Dad and all the other loved ones you grieve).